This is a Great Country

It really is. What a blessing it is to be in such a wonderful place at such an amazing time. What a gift it is to be somewhere where we can receive the blessings of the gospel. My life has been richly blessed and I need to write about it. I suppose this is more personal diary stuff, but I'm falling asleep and if I go in my room to write in my journal, I won't get everything done. Anyways.
Before our last showing of the institute spring show I had the opportunity to bear my testimony. Since we were short on time, I had to condense everything I wanted to say. There is a song that we sang in the program that has become a great source of comfort for me. It is a reminder to me of the love of our Heavenly Father.
~My Shepherd Will Supply My Need~
My Shepherd will supply my need, Jehovah is His name. In pastures fresh he makes me feed, beside the living stream. (suddenly I can't remember the words...and I really don't want to get up to get them...I'll have to edit this later...)
Anyways. There are certain lines that have particular meaning for me.

"He brings my wand'ring spirit back when I forsake His ways."
I cannot even begin to explain what this phrase means to me. I won't try to explain. But, it is SO TRUE. He knows when we are struggling. He knows how much we can take. He knows what it will take to get us back. For me, it was Choralaires. The music, the friends, the examples and the Spirit that is felt there everyday in rehearsal.

"Thy hand in sight of all my foes doth still my table spread"
I'm not 100% sure of what this phrase means, but I know that His hand will be there when we face our enemies. Today, my enemy was Satan. Everything that could go wrong pretty much did go wrong. My dress ripped...twice. My car isn't safe to drive anymore. And everything just keeps piling up on me. Yesterday when I was trying to mend my dress (the first time) I felt panicked. I think I actually swore....yes, I did, sadly. After a moment though, I realized that what I was feeling was completely ridiculous. I finally calmed down. The show went well that night, but it wasn't anything special for me. Then this morning I just felt so...off. It was my only chance to clean. So, I cleaned. But, I ended up not giving myself enough time to get ready for the afternoon show. In the process of trying to get ready, I burned my ear with my curling iron. I almost swore, but I was able to control myself this time thankfully. But I sure felt a lot of anger and stress, etc in my heart. I went to the pre-show devotional. Throughout the meeting, I could not concentrate on what was being said. Thoughts and images went through my mind that I did not want. I could not control them though, as hard as I tried. The show started and I still felt wrong. Before singing this wonderful song, I decided that I needed some help. I went to a quiet place and said a prayer. What a wonderful thing that was for me. I had a hard time controlling the tears as I played my clarinet. The words that the choir sang spoke volumes to my soul. Every phrase brought to memory the most recent times that My Shepherd has supplied my needs. I wish I could write them all down, but my thoughts are scattered enough that it won't happen right now. Anyways, my prayer was answered and my foe was stilled. I could write an entire entry on how I felt as we sang "Behold a Royal Army"....that song has a totally different meaning to me now. But that is another blog/entry for another time.

"My cup with blessings overflows"
I have been blessed. I really have. I can't even begin to list the many blessings that I have received. Even through the trials, there were blessings. I didn't want to admit it at times, but they were there. I hope that I have been thankful enough for them. I probably haven't.

"There would I find a settled rest, while others go and come"
It may sound dumb, but when my cat got put to sleep, her 'going' was a great burden on my spirit. She was a source of comfort to me and I just can't even begin to write down what it meant to me that she was gone. This phrase gives me the hope of finding rest in all of this stress.

"No more a stranger, nor a guest, but like a child a at home"
Along with the last phrase, this one has a lot to do with my cat. The weekend that she was put down, we sang at a church that was almost completely identical to my home ward. I have only seen one other building like it It is a not-so-commonly used floor plan. Anyways. So, there was this weird feeling as if I were home. It was really weird. Seriously. Then, my dear friend collapsed on me. This experience made it seem even more like home, since my dad collapses all the time when he has seizures. Even though I had a hard time holding back the tears, there was comfort in being in that building. I felt like I was home. It was wonderful.

He knows us. He knows our needs.
I don't know how this is going to turn out, but I hope that a certain experience today will continue to be a blessing in my life. On our way back to campus tonight, my parents and I stopped at the petco in riverdale. I felt like I needed to go there. I really did. :) My parents decided to get one of th kittens that they had out for adoption. She is not ours yet, since she needs to be spayed, but she truly is an answer to a prayer of sorts for me. When I held her, I couldn't hold back the tears. I will always miss my first cat-Mystie. I love her dearly and I will never forget the power that she had in my life. But, as I held this new kitten, it was like I was back in the 8th grade holding Mystie for the first time. She wouldn't let go of me. She seemed to like me. It felt so good to hold her. She even has similar markings.
I really need to go to sleep. But I can't express enough how full my heart is right now. Heavenly Father supplied my need today. My Savior supplied my need. My prayers were answered. I was comforted. I smiled the most I've ever smiled in a LONG time today. I was actually happy again. There are many wounds in my soul that still need healing, but I think that a few were healed today. I am so thankful for the wonderful blessings in my life. My friends, family, teachers, and cats :). Just to name a few.
Goodnight!