Chick Flicks

What a week. I worked almost 40 hours this week. I understand that this is the norm for the average working force today, but when it's at a place like Subway, it just plain sucks. My boss got sick, then the supervisor got sick and what a coincidence, I woke up feeling quite ill this morning. We've been around each other way too much and I'm so glad to be home, not working. Unfortunately, I was planning on going out of town tonight and staying out until sometime later tomorrow. But, since my stomach decided to change my plans, I am here, writing a blog. After regaining my appetite, I went to the local gas station to grab a snack (mostly because I hadn't eaten all day and I was craving liquids that had flavor). Now, our gas station is also our store and video rental place (it's small out here). I saw that there were some videos for sale and decided to check it out. Right as I was about to leave, a certain movie caught my eye and I couldn't help but grab it. Now, this movie was not for sale, but it was a $0.99 rental. I've heard good things about this particular film and I decided that I wanted to rent it. It was a great idea. I felt so weak from the bug that hit me that sitting and watching a movie sounded amazingly wonderful. The selected movie was "27 Dresses." I'm sure most have heard about it. It's about a woman that has been a bridesmaid for 27 different weddings, and on the 27th she meets someone, they annoy each other, bla bla bla, they fall in love. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy chick flicks. For the most part. Lately movies have been an annoyance in my life. A certain family member watches them way too much and takes them to heart a little too deeply. But that, my friends, is another story. So, I have finally come to the conclusion that chick flicks are just plain stupid. Most of the stories are totally unlikely, and are so unbelievabley predictable. Within the first 10 minutes of the film, you can guess (usually) whom will end up with whom or whatever. Now, being a girl, I enjoy the romantic stories and get that feeling that someday I will fall in love...bla bla bla. But, enough is enough. These movies are utterly depressing. Not only do they instill within me the feeling that I wish to be in love, but they usually have a really good-looking guy that I form a short-lived crush on. Of course, the crush is on the character, not the actor. It's so frustrating. Movies are not real life! I am not going to be a maid of honor in my life, I can almost guarantee that. I was once asked to be a bridesmaid, but when I got to the reception, things had changed apparently. I won't go into those details. Anyways. Movies are fun for entertainment, but when they play with your emotions, it's not cool. A semi-recent film came out about 2...maybe 3 years ago called "The Lakehouse." At that time I had a mad crush on someone. I had had this crush for (at that time) 3-4 years. This movie evoked some serious emotions in my mind and heart towards this person I felt deeply for. I even had some hope of having a relationship with him. (but, you must realize that I really had no hope to begin with...ah...I could go off on SO many tangents right now) The movie made the point that maybe it wasn't meant to be at that time, but maybe later. I was stupid. Of course I didn't know it then. Oh well. (man, I still feel sick...ugh)
I'm not sure what my point is here, but it sure feels good to vent about what I'm feeling. This past week our little military base had many troops out for training. Many of these troops decided that they really didn't want those ~wonderful~ MREs and came to Subway for most of their meals. A few guys that came through were VERY good-looking. And I mean VERY....wow....oh my goodness he's hot....good-looking guys. One afternoon a guy came through and started talking to me. He started asking me if I lived here, if I liked it, and what-not. By the time we got to the register he had been told that I go to school at Weber and that I am out here living with my parents for the summer. After he and his buddies finished their meal, he casually walked by and said "when are we coming to your place to watch movies?" Ha ha ha..... The first thought I had was oh dear, the house is SO embarassing and my parents ....oh my parents. So, I made excuses. I'm sure that if I had agreed, he and his buddy/buddies would've been over later that night. It kind of scared me. I was offered a chance to hang out with some guys. Now, the GI's that come out here tend to get bad reputations, so I have never been too keen on the idea that if one asked me out I would actually go. It was so weird. I was totally amazed. On one hand, I was offered a social life for the evening, and on the other hand I had probably just avoided a bad situation. It was such a weird experience. But, it was real life. Ha. The next day another guy came in. He wasn't in uniform, so I don't know if he was in the Army or not. (and...these guys were Army...trust me) But, before I even got the bread out of the keeper to make his sandwich he was asking questions and making me smile. At one point he even interjected "are you doing anything tonight?" (but I'm not sure if he meant it or not...it's quite possible). He was pretty good-looking and I really enjoyed my conversation with him. I actually hoped that he might leave his phone number for me. Ha. But, alas, life is not a movie (once again). Mister Nice walked out the door getting one last glance in my direction before exiting (I saw him look over) Did I mention that he said that he recognized me from when I worked there 2 years ago? Cool, huh?
With experiences like that and seeing movies like I did tonight...I get so very frustrated. I have never been on a REAL date with a guy more than once. I can count on 2 hands ALL of my dates (including the ones that turned out not to be a date) If you don't count the non-dates, I can count them on one hand. I'm 23. That's not very many. So, when I see romantic movies like 27 Dresses, it is not good. Don't get me wrong. I liked the movie. But, I just am not happy now. Now I have the feelings of...I wish I had a boyfriend, I wish I was getting married, I wish I had a cool, romantic story like that in my life, etc.
Thankfully, I don't. :) But, still, the feelings are there now and I guess I'm trying to rid myself of them by writing out this terrible blog. I almost want to throw away all of my chick flick movies when I get like this. It's so annoying. I know, I know. Someday, I may actually meet somone that will look me in the eyes (instead of looking away) and not be scared to ask for my phone number, and I'll give it to him. But, that has yet to happen. And, until it does, chick flicks can just go to Hades.
(wow...I'm not bitter...lol)

Overtime

Wow....another super late night blog. But, I have my reasons. I have been working 10.5 hours the past two days at my job at Subway. IT SUCKS! Yes, my paycheck will be super sweet, and I'm not complaining about that. But, that is a LONG time to be working at a Subway. My feet hurt, my wrist and thumb are cramping and I think my thumb is actually bruised from lifting so many sandwiches into/out of the toaster oven with the big paddle and squeezing sauce many times in just one minute. I hope I don't do any permanent damage to my clarineting abilities. Grr. And, it looks like tomorrow will be another marathon day.
If you're wondering why I'm working like mad, I'll tell you. Once again, Subway is understaffed. We have 4 workers at the moment. Jam'e (the manager), Patty, (the supervisor), me and Cori. Well, Jam'e has to go over and open the gas station every morning this week because they, too, are understaffed. And, Cori is off at camp for the week. So, that leaves Jam'e (sometimes), Patty and I to work the entire day. Patty and I are technically not supposed to work over 8 hours in 1 day. It's insane! So, yeah. Instead of going up to Ogden tomorrow for my other job and to go sing in the summer chorale, I have to work all day at Subway again. ~joy~
I would MUCH rather go to Ogden. I'm thinking about escaping up there on Saturday, since I'm supposed to have that off. Actually, I should, just so I can't get called in. lol Well, I have much to write, but I'm really tired and need to get going to bed. Good night ya'll!

Moths! Moths! Moths! EVERYWHERE!!!!

So, way back when...
I was in high school still, and I remember walking home from school and noticing that there were TONS of moths everywhere. It wasn't even safe to open the front door without a swarm of them going everywhere (some inside the house unfortunately). On one particular occaision (sp?) it was a Saturday morning and we (the young women and young men of the Dugway ward) met at the seminary building to load into the vehicualr transport to the Temple. One person had her van there. She arrived and let her van sit there for a time. Then, when she started it back up a whole swarm of moths exploded from her van. It was amazing! You've never seen moths until you see them explode (as a swarm...not each bug individually exploding) from a vehicle like that. Well, it seems that the plague of Dugway this year has indeed been moths again. One year it was grasshoppers, another, crickets, yet another year, snakes, another year voles (annoying rodents that almost completely destroyed the landscape of our town!), and so on. One year I even remember seeing tons of dragonflies. Anyways. This year it is moths (and snakes actually...I've seen quite a few...whether flattened on the road, or creeping around the loading dock of my job). Yesterday I got in my car to drive up to Ogden for my job at the Tanner Dance Studio. On a side note, this job is like a fairytale job. I get to play the piano for little dancers. It's really helping me learn to improvise. But, it's only 3 hours a week, sadly. :( When I was told that they were having a summer session of dance classes, I didn't think too much about it and said that I would do it. Gas prices were cheaper then. At that point I thought that I would still come out making even just a couple dollars more than what it would cost to pay for gas for the trip. But, as I realized that it cost me $37 to fill the tank and that it will only cost more next week, working for 3 hours, at 12.29/hr still won't make up the difference. But, it's only for 4 more weeks and I love it. And, I have an excuse to wander over to the institute to see some of my best friends. (whom I miss dearly) Anyways. Long story...back to the main plot. Moths. So, I have been noticing a few moths in our house lately. My cats are having the time of their lives chasing after these moths. Mike is quite the little huntress now. It's so fun to watch them catch one and play with it until it dies. (a little gruesome, yes, but it's so fun!) So, as you can imagine, I figured that we had a lot of moths hanging around our house. I had NO idea. When I started that car literally a probably close to 50, if not 100 moths flew from the area. It was cool. I figured that there had to be a few in my car, but since I was late, I did not take the time to free any of them. I filled up at the gas station and a couple got out. I went through my day letting out a moth or 2 here and there until I hit the freeway on my way home. After letting out at least 5 previously, I still had about 5 or more in the car with me until I got home. It was really annoying. Have you ever driven with moths fluttering in your peripheral vision? It's VERY distracting. I'm sure some people may have thought I looked like a drunk driver while I was trying to let those things out of the vehicle. Anyways. It's been crazy with all the moths around. I went to grab the mop at work (which is kept outside) tonight and about 10 moths flew out of it. I don't even want to think about how unclean the freshly mopped floor is. Ew. And now I have the hiccups. Joy. :) I had the hiccups for 2 years when I was in 5th and 6th grade. It was annoying. I think it was because my teacher made me nervous. She was so scary! Her last name was Witkowski, but we called her Witch-kowski. ha ha ha :)
Now that my hands are completely numb, I thought I had more to say, but I guess I don't. Well, I do, but I don't know where to start.
I must leave a quick note to my 2 favorite bloggers. (if not my only readers...lol)
It's been great seeing you guys up in Ogden every week. It really is the highlight of my week. We really must go hiking!!! I will see if I can get a day off in the not-too-distant-future. Keep smiling and know that I love and miss you!

Riding at Midnight

So, it's been a while. Not too long, but long enough for me. :)
Tonight as I was riding my bike home from my best friend's house, I came up with something I wanted to blog about.
Have I ever said how much I love living out here sometimes? It's so beautiful (if you don't look at all the nasty construction and dead snakes on the road). As I was riding my bike home I saw a beautiful clear sky. When the moon is not out and there are no clouds, the Milky Way Galaxy is visible. It's indescribable. While on a bike ride with my best friend, Julie, we stopped at a park and caught sight of a beautiful sunset. The moon was just rising over the mountainous horizon and it was huge! It was full, bright and huge! I only wish that I could've taken a good picture of it. All I had was my cell phone...and the picture quality is poor, even on a good day. (oh how I want to purc hase a super good camera...maybe a Nikon in the $200-500 range :)) Anyways. I love it out here. I hate the town, but I love this valley. There is so much untouched land out here. (I just got distracted by my little lover-boy kitty...he's SOOOOO sweet!!!!) Anyways, as I was saying. There is a road that leads to I-80 from here. It goes through was is called Skull Valley. In this valley is the famed reservation that the state wanted to store nulear waste in. Besides the reservation and some ranches (and many, many cows) there is nothing out there to suggest that humans have been there. Almost every time I drive that road I get a sense of awe. I always wonder if that isn't just a bit what the pinoeers saw when they entered the Salt Lake valley. If so, I can only imagine their feelings of I don't even know what.
Well, I wanted to write more, but currently I am falling asleep and getting extremely frustrated with my computer, the super-slow internet and the fact that I can't get into my online work profile so I can apply for a new position. Grrr...
Well, I'm done for now.
Bye

Scattered thoughts and tidbits

So, as I read my last blog, I realized that I was REALLY out of it. There was no structure to what I said. And guess what...this will probably be very similar. I have so much on my mind it's not even funny. But, my hands are freezing, I'm exhausted and I'm on a computer that is over 10 years old on dial-up. My patience is running low with it.

I've got a song stuck in my head. It's from Wicked. It's called "I'm not that girl." I suppose I will start with that (if my hands will warm up). OW! my kitty just jumped onto my shoulder from across the room...her claws need to be trimmed. Anways. This song for some reason has been in my mind. Right now, I have no love interests (at least not any serious ones...I'm too far away from everyone to even try) but it seems to be a good representation of some past expereinces. I don't want to relate them right now, but I jsut thought I would write that much down.

Work. Wow, it is an interesting place these days. When I left there a little over 2(?) years ago the manager had just transferred to Kuwait and my friend Patty was put in as a temporary manager. Well, the old manager returned a week before I started. And let me tell you, the crap has hit the fan. It has opened my eyes a bit onto how people treat each other. Many of the customers and my fellow co-workers have many complaints about this manager. She's not LDS, nor is she very Christian, so I'm sure that has a bit to do with it all. She's a grandma (Why she's managing a fast food place at her age is beyond me) and has a background of the army-style of living. The customers and us workers have felt like she has been treating us poorly, and it has gotten to the point that the top boss-our owner has been notified and made some comments. This happened yesterday. I have seen her be rude and non-respecting, but it doesn't seem right to me to do what has been done. My supervisor told me that she has talked to her about the problems, but I wonder how much was actually said. The manger had this look on her face yesterday that was...undescribable. I truly think she has no idea that her actions are offensive to others. I've worked with her before and it's just the way she is. She may have picked up some bad behaviors over in Kuwait, but I don't think she's being this way on purpose. The supervisor (whom I love dearly) is beginning to have a different appearance to me. She has some health issues and such, but frankly, I'm beginning to think that she's a spoiled whimp. She's in her forties and yesterday there was an incident that makes me think that she never left elementary school. Apparently there was a snake out on the loading dock area and when she got word of it, she went clear to the other side of the building (mind you, our subway is in a bowling alley). The little snake was outside for crying out loud. Gorw up. She has all these complaints about our manager, but sometimes I wonder if it's not just a defense she's putting up because she is no longer the manager and she doesn't like it. She is my friend, but I just wonder sometimes.

Working out. So, I have found a new addiction. Turbo Jam. :) (and the gym of course) I can't go through the day without making myself sweat insanely. It's wonderful. But, at the same time, I'm getting frustrated. My clothes are getting tighter and my stomach is getting larger (although, my abs are tighter underneath). How is this possible? I know I have terrible eating habbits, but it's not enough to make me gain this much this fast. I'm riding my bike to work almost every time and I work out, hard, for at least an hour or so each day. What's the deal?! Grrr. Oh well. At least I have found something I enjoy. I eat breakfast every morning and take my vitamins. I feel wonderful. My stomach doesn't bother me nearly as bad as it used to. It's wodnerful. :) I've only been nauseated once this week! Victory!

My ankle. So, since my last (or maybe second-to-last) year of marching band (3??? years ago) I have had a problem with my achilles tendon. There is a bump on it and it hurts intensely. Sometimes I can barely stand. But, the pain fades off and on throughout the day, so I just deal with it and move on. It's not like I can just leave the food station because my ankle hurts. (ya know) I have seen a doctor about it and he suggested surgery, but never got back to me about it. I called his office twice and never heard from him again. So, today I talked to my parents. It looks like we will be trying to get me into a podiatrist soon. I'm worried mostly because of the cost. I don't have any type of medical insurance right now and I can hardly afford a credit card bill right now. But, the thought of having that ...whatever it is...removed from my ankle gives me hope that anything can be done. I wonder, if I do get it removed, if they can keep me awake and let me watch them remove it. That would be cool. :)

News. Today I actually had the afternoon to watch some tv. It was fun...I guess. I caught the first part of the NBC Nightly News. Wow. I mean......WOW! Talk about commotion and destruction. I don't remember the order, but wow. There was not a single thing that was good on the first 10-minutes of jam-packed news. Flooding in the midwest, heat waves in the east, fires in California, snow in Washington, farmers losing millions because they can't sell their tomatos, tornados in Florida. Oh wait, I suppose I lied about there not being any positive news. When they showed the people in Ohio trying to build up leavys by the river, there was a bit of a positive edge to it. It was amazing to see so many people (mostly strangers to one another) working together to save their city. It's amazing. Oh wait, and, there was a plane crash in...I don't remember where, but it was a big plane. It was trying to make a crash landing due to a thunderstorm. It landed, split into 2 pieces and burst into flame. I'm a nut about disasters. I don't know why, but I am. But, this was not a fun thing to see. The world is changing. ("The world is changed...I feel it in the earth", er...or something like that....--Tolkien) It's only a matter of time. I felt inspired to write about it, but I'm not good with words. A poet I mst certainly am not. It's all I can do to make any of these sentences sound cohesive. But, I may try to writ it down and finish it...no matter how short and bad it may be.

I turned on the news today and saw...

Twisters, floods, snow and heat
Earthquakes, fires, and even drought

War, politics and worries of pounds (can you believe they think Obama's hand-pound to his wife is a terroist sign?!?!) anyways...
FDA, CDC, deadly veggies and vaccines

Gangs, car chases, drug dealers and users
Pregnant teens, lesbians and gays, even sex on tv is ok!

Gas prices, mortgage fiascos and economic slurps.
Hybrids, corn-fuel and Why is my tv green?

Brittnay Spears is a bad mommy
Brad and Angelina are having another child!

(one can't help but sing the song by REM...."It's the end of the world as we know it...")

Drugs, violence, politics and disasters
Is there any hope of surviving?

I must know, I must see
I turned to the scriptures and found...

Peace, love and joy
Mercy, justice and endless hope



Ok....that took longer than anticipated and now I don't even remember what else I was going to blog about. That is a very rough poem, if you can even call it that.

Kittens. My new love. :)
I love my new kitties! I can't express how much I LOVE THEM! I think I would be mad if they weren't in my life right now. (even though I'm seriosuly allergic to them and have scratches up and down my body) They meow, coo and pur. What more could a person want in a companion?! :)

Anyways. I think I will stop for now. Oh my, I totally just remembered what else I wanted to blog about. Eh...another time maybe. I want to go watch The Little Mermaid. I love that movie. :)

And I don't even know my last name...

So, it's way too late for me to even begin typing this and I'm so tired that I'm not sure why I'm doing it. I've got a cat on my shoulder and a nose that is so drippy from my allergies that it could be named a national waterfall. (wow...that was kind of gross) Today was an interesting day.
As some of you know, I am working at the Subway out in Dugway this summer. People come through that place all the time, many times a week. Many of them got used to seeing my face a couple of years ago. Now that I'm back, it's been kind of a nightmare. People keep asking me how school is going (I tell a half-truth and say it's ok) Then they either ask me about my brother or my dad. I'm proud of my brother, I really am, but I can't help but feel the look of judgement from others when they ask about him. One instance I must relate. A certain customer asked me how he was doing and then made a rather bold statement that he (my brother) was smart for getting out of here, unlike some of 'these other kids that go off to college and come back here and get some mediocre job.' That was almost word for word what he said. If I had the mind-set to do it, and some guts, I would've had some choice words for him. My brother has had many successes and it is good for him to be out away from here. But, what is so wrong with being here. Not that I enjoy living out here anymore, but honestly, there are some really good-paying jobs out here that all you need to qualify is a high school diploma. I don't consider myself the kind of person that would get stuck in one of those jobs, but you never know. Anyways. I'm not asking for pity. I don't want it. I'm just venting on how annoying it is. This whole situation sucks for the most part. I'm 23, and living at home working for Subway. I'm going to school during the regular school year, but I've failed enough classes that I worry if I will be able to return. I don't particularly enjoy my job, but I'm getting to the point that I really don't care so much anymore. I don't have the sense of dread I used to have. What would be so wrong with staying here and having a decent job? Seriously. Oh yeah...I forgot. It's a small town and there are zero to none hopes of ever getting married to someone out here. And, with gas prcies the way they are, seeing the oputside world will not happen as often as it should. Wow, I think I need to go to bed. My brain hurts. (ha ha...like it actually does) My kitty just about added his 2 cents to the blog :) Well...that totally didn't end up what I thought it would. Oh well. I have to be up and ready to make sandwiches at 8am tomorrow. and it's just about 2am. I need some sleep! (but first I must shower!)
Goodnight!
(or should I say... Good Morning!)

Milkshake...

I was going to put "Feel Good" as the title, but as I sat typing an email to my friend, I realized how exhausted I am. I really shouldn't've had that milkshake. Ugh. :) Wow...and it just keeps getting worse...
So...to explain my predicament, I must rewind to yesterday morning. I woke up, and decided that I wanted to work out. So, I pulled out my Turbo Jam dvd that I purchased last summer with high hopes of losing weight (ha ha) and did the 20 minute jam session. It was great. I punched, kicked and jumped. I even got a good sweat going. Then I took a quick rinse off shower. Then I got a call that asked me to come into work a little early. No biggy...I needed the hours. So, after making some no-bake cookies, I biked to work. Then, while I was at work, I heard rumor that the boss and another supervisor were going to strip and wax the floor. It wasn't a big deal to me until the boss asked if I could stay late and help. Once again, needing the hours, I said sure. Ha...that was smart. The scrub brush I used to clean a certain area of the facility began falling apart while I was using it, so I had a royal time cleaning up after it. I unded up using all my might to scrub the floors with a mop. Yeah...you try it and tell me you're not sore afterwards. So, I got home and crashed on the couch for a couple of hours until I decided that I should go to bed. The next morning, I woke up around 8. I could've gotten up, but I was so sore that I just laid there until about 10. It was wonderful. My kitties came and attacked my toes for awhile and kept me awake for a while. Then I got called into work early again. I tried to get there, but didn't make it until about 5 minutes before I was originally scheduled. It wasn't a problem. Thankfully. I went to work and got off at 5:30. I biked home and sat down for a little bit. Then I went to the gym with my friend. We did the elipticals for awhile, then we hit a volleyball around for a bit. That was WONDERFUL! :) It feels so good to slam that ball down and have someone hit it back at you. It's so fun! Anyways. Then we did a killer ab workout. Needless to say, my body is wasted. It felt so good! But, I had to ruin it by making a milkshake. Ugh....stupid human nature. :) Oh well. Working out is so fun. :)
So, another feel good was this wonderful message (short as it may be) from the cute boy I met at the dance (I believe I blogged this story previously...Man, I feel like a woman...I believe is the title). I wrote him a quick note on facebook. I didn't expect him to reply, but he did! It was a short message, but it didn't end in a dead-end phrase. There's hope my friends! Hope of a friendship with a VERY attractive person. I have NEVER been able to form a friendship with a person I'm very attracted to without a lot of work. With the last guy I had an attraction to, it took over a year to get to the point where I could say hello. This is a miracle my friends. a MIRACLE! :):):) Anyways. I want to go rest my arms. It's all I can do to keep them up to type.
The end...
Oh yeah..and I'm heading up to Ogden again tomorrow.
~joy~
:(
Party anyone?????? ;)

Ogden

So, I have been experiencing some weird feelings towards Ogden as of late. I had to drive up there yesterday (Friday) for a rather annoying situation I got myself into. Over a year ago a friend of mine asked me to accompany her for her senior recital. I saw the music and thought I could play it, so I agreed. We practiced. I practiced. And we practiced some more. But, she did not pass her recital preview and therefore was not allowed to do her recital. A year later, we are trying again. Friday was the preview. I have been kind of practicing the music, but not as much as I should. Nevertheless. It has has been a most frustrating experience. I should have told her no this time. I am not living in Ogden this summer, so I must travel almost 2 hours to get there and then 2 hours to get home. The time is a problem (since I'm trying to work as much as possible to pay off some debts), but it's not nearly as big a problem as having enough gas to make it there and back. I tell you what...those gas prices really make a difference when you have to travel at least 45 miles to get to the closest doctor, walmart, or other necesary places. Thankfully the town I live in has a small grocery store and gas station, but sometimes it's not enough. Anyways. So, I had to drive up to Ogden on Friday feeling the stress of the financial burden it was placing on me. I had to give up my day working on for this trip. Not that I love my job, but any extra hour is an hour's worth of pay I desperately need. I left town and before I left the town, I got pulled over. I have NEVER been pulled over myself. I have been in cars that have been pulled over, but I was never the driver. Yesterday was bad. I was in a hurry and couldn't stand going 20mph. So, I suppose I was at 30mph when the cop clocked me. Grr. Thankfully he only gave me a warning since it was my first offense. But, still. It is frustrating that that is now on my record. Anyways. So, I left for Ogden feeling irritated, then angry and now I was late and needed to hurry even more. To be honest, I still sped. I didn't speed as much as I usually do (there's a road that I like to drive on that is easy to hit 90mph without thinking too hard on it), but I still let my lead foot take over. Then I got to the Browning Center to practice and the room we needed was in use. Anyways. We practiced as an ensemble and had a poor run-through. I have practiced the music to the point that I can play it, but somehow I can never do it right when I'm with the ensemble. It's beyond frustrating, especially when I have a friend of mine that I feel very judged by. I won't even go into that right now. That's a whole 'nother blog. Anyways. So, after that I had a few hours to burn, so I went to go see a movie. I saw Price Caspian. That was a rather good movie. There were some bad editing and filming problems, but overall, I really liked it. It helped calm my anger down a bit, but I was still feeling on edge about everything. Then, as I started heading towards Harrison, I felt rather odd. I knew I was in Ogden and that I had been there before, but I felt so detached from it. I have spent more than half of my past 5 years there. I usually love Ogden, but this time I almost want to say...I hated it. I don't know why. Maybe it was just one of those days. I just don't know. Anyways. I got myself a Pita and went to go practice some more. I warmed up on the piano that was to be used (oh...I just remembered, I haven't said why I had to stick around....this was also the day of the preivew for the second try at the recital for this friend). My left hand just wouldn't work for me. I tried hannon exercises and scales and nothing worked. It was a miracle that I could play at all to be honest. Anyways. So, as I'm warming up, one of the people on the committee for this preview walked in. It was my band director-Dr. Root. Before saying anything else to me, he told me that I had a cd of his daughter's that he was supposed to ask me about. He didn't even say hello. That man never ceases to frustrate me with his lack of treating me like a person. So, I went to sit down when it was time to start (since I was not involved with the first number) and another committee member walked in. Bettie-Jo. She is quickly becomming someone I admire (I can't believe I said that!). Well, maybe not admire, but look up to or something like that. Anyways, she was the only one that said hello to me that day. It's so frustrating! I just about went up to Dr. Root and told him that I would never be coming back. And to be honest, it almost felt like I wouldn't be. I felt so weird! So...to make a long story short (er)...she passed the preview and now we have to practice even more before her recital in 2 weeks. I need to work. I can't afford the gas. I don't have the time. And I don't enjoy going to Ogden at the moment. Ahh! I have a feeling that some changes might be coming in the near future. I sure hope so.