Love: An Udpate

Love is such a funny thing.
Since I blogged last, my life has completely turned around.
I almost ended up dating someone, but things fell through. I'm ok with it. It's hard to date someone you're not 100% interested in. You just can't force it. It was fun for what it was worth. I did enjoy the conversations and it was nice to get texts. And, I experienced my first cuddle with a guy. So, I feel that I learned a lot from that experience. I learned more about myself than anything. At that point I resolved to not desire being in a relationship and to be a serious student.
Why is it that when one decides this, it doesn't work out?
I met someone (ironically) on my date with Jake. At the time this guy was dating someone else (who is now my neighbor) and I didn't know either of them. Then, during the summer I re-met him and we got to be friends (not close by any means...My July 8th blog references this somewhat). I liked him right from the re-meeting. Nothing happened, which is fine. Knowing my luck, anyone should be able to guess what has happened. Although, there was actually some hope. As recently as a few weeks ago we have had some chance encounters, and he actually asked me out (on my birthday of all days). But, alas, he is not interested in me. I knew it from the beginning. It was pretty obvious...I just wish I knew why he actually asked me out in the first place. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to focus on the fact that I actually got to go on a date with him and that I had a great time. But, technically my heart has been broken twice by him now (all within a matter of a couple of weeks...but I won't explain that). I really liked him.
Anyways, so, just as Valentine's Day comes around, a new adventure has begun. I really don't know what happened to be honest. It all happened just today. This guy in my ward flirted like crazy with me at the linger longer, offered to let me ride his motorcycle (an offer I wanted to take, but had to refuse due to the fact I was wearing a skirt that was not motorcycle-friendly) and walked me home (offering his hand at one point to help me descend the ice mountain on the side of Harrison). Oh, did I mention he handed me a chocolate rose? Crazy, huh? Things like that don't happen to me. I couldn't believe he was even talking to me, let alone handing me a chocolate rose, flirting with me, holding my hand and oh man....I just don't believe it! I almost cried when he handed me the rose. I don't think I'll ever eat it. It represents a hope that I thought could not exist.
Anyways.
That's the update on my 'love' life. Changes just keep coming. I never thought I would ever be the desire of any man. Since November, I have been on dates with 3 separate men, with signs of a 4th. From being able to count all my dates on 2 hands to this....I never thought it was possible. I planned on being an old maid, crazy cat lady and vl for eternity.
Am I really ready for anything like an actual relationship? Probably not, nor do I really want one still. I just want to know that I'm not a failure in the dating world. What a crazy turn around! :)