And the roller coaster continues...

It is way too late for me to be getting into this right now, but I have to do some methodical writing to clear my mind. I doubt I'll be able to sleep anyways. (yay for the ac not working in my apartment-seriously considering packing my room full of ice)
A year ago I got to visit my family in Missouri. I was the happiest person I could be when I was there. I felt so at home. I felt like I belonged. So, ever since March of last year I have been trying to find a way out there. First I tried applying to jobs out there. Then, after no success, I asked my aunt if I could move in with her and use that as a starting point for starting a new life out there. Unfortunately she was having some serious marital problems and was unable to help me out. So, I had already been thinking about going back to school in order to find a career I could support myself with. So, I pursued going into medical assisting. That process took way too long, but eventually (after about 5 months) I was able to enroll and take classes. After 3 months of doing extremely well in my classes I hit a couple of roadblocks. First of all, the main textbook I was using was indescribably difficult to get through. The workbook does not do a good job of matching up with the text. Then, about a month ago I was informed that it was more than likely that I would lose my job. Immediately I saw this as my opportunity to pack up and go on an adventure (of sorts). When I was told for sure that I was going to lose my job, I dropped out of school and called my other aunt and asked her the same huge favor I had asked the previous one. Everyone out there has been wonderful about making me feel wanted out there. I can't express how badly I want to go out there. But, every time I choose a path that would take me there, I get blocked. Just as I was starting to feel at peace about losing my job and moving to Missouri, the news came that I might not lose my job after all. When I was completely at peace, happy and even excited about moving out there, I got news that I was indeed not losing my job. This news came on Wednesday. Thankfully I was able to scream out my frustrations at Lagoon that day. I now have a deep love of roller coasters. After thinking about it and even talking to my mom about it in depth last night (yes, just last night) I decided that I would still try to make the move when my lease is up on my apartment in August. Once again, I felt pretty peaceful about it.
Then today happened.
It's not s deal breaker, but it really makes me wonder.
My boss approached me, told me that the assistant manager is leaving, and although there won't be an actual assistant manager now, he and the owner thought it would be good to have a couple of shift managers. He asked if I would be interested. It comes with a pay increase and a better resume status. Of course I said yes (I would be an idiot to turn that down).
But, now what do I do???
Every time I turn my head to the east I feel happy and excited, but almost immediately afterwards I get sucked even deeper into what I now call the black hole that is Ogden.
I'm so thoroughly confused as to what direction I should go that it's not even funny.
I'm also thoroughly convinced that God has a sick, twisted sense of humor. I probably look like a mouse stuck in a maze going around in circles getting closer to the exit and at the same time getting pulled away from it.
It would be so nice if someone could just tell me what to do.
Seriously.
The end...for now.

Isn't it funny?

I've always heard the story of people coming to a spot in their lives where they are completely comfortable with how things are going. And, then the next day everything changes.
Well folks...I am now one of those.
I didn't even realize it, but I have come to terms with where my life is and I was pretty ok with it. My financial situation isn't great, but I have a job, and I have a roof over my head. I have a good roommate. I have good friends. I am back in school and doing well. I'm all in all fairly content with my life right now. I didn't realize it until it was too late though.
As of Monday, June 4th, I am now looking for a new job. The place I work at, 5 Buck Pizza, has been struggling to stay afloat for a long time and the owner has finally decided to let it go. The lease on our building is up at the end of the month, so we will be closing at that time. I do not know exactly when my last day will be, but I know it is coming whether I want it to or not. I've already said goodbye to a coworker that I've thoroughly enjoyed working with. It's all a little surreal. A few months ago I was trying to get a new job because I felt like I deserved better. I was finally more than ok with my situation...and now I HAVE to find something new.
The irony of life never ceases to amaze me.