Bread and Sewing

These are the 2 things that I will remember most about my Grandma Carlson. As a little child, once a month, my parents would take me and my little brother to my grandparents' house for the weekend. My parents would go to the temple while my brother and I had time with GM & GPC (as we have come to call them), we would spend the night in the scary basement (scary to me...spiders, pipes, creaking floorboards...you name it, I was scared of it) and after lunch...sometimes dinner, we would drive back home just in time to get ready for bed. As we got older and my dad's health problems prevented them from going as often, these trips stopped. Once I got to high school, we pretty much only made trips for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
If I have one real regret in my life, it's not getting to see my grandparents (and extended family for that matter) more often. I have family in Missouri that I never see (I was about 14 or 15 last time we were there...something I hope can be fixed soon). Anyways, this isn't about my regrets now.
My dear sweet Grandma Carlson has been succumbing to Alzheimer's disease for the past few years (if not more). I got a text from my mom last week that she's really starting to go downhill now. So, I decided to make a trip to see GM & GPC last Sunday. I'm so glad I did. I've had the feeling that I needed to go see them for awhile now. I only wish I had acted on it sooner and possibly more than once. It's been a long time since she's known who I am. But, that doesn't mean that I couldn't be of any worth to her. When I got to their house, she was sitting in her recliner (oh how I loved her recliner...she has a pink one, Grandpa has a blue one) asleep. Their Relief Society president was there. The first impression I got was that their ward is taking very good care of them. Let's face it, my grandpa just can't do everything necessary to take care of her anymore. They have a nurse coming in on a regular basis as well. (I now have a greater deal of respect for CNAs and RNs...when you're on the other side seeing someone you love being cared for, it really means something). I played a couple of hymn arrangements for them. Grandma softly uttered "I like the music." She's in there somewhere...barely. I had a great afternoon talking family history with my grandpa. I got to know him a little better. I really wish I had had a video camera or voice recorder at that time. He told me more about how he was in the war and where he went...he went to Germany and the Philippines (Japan, too, I think).I learned more about where our family comes from. I have Swedish and Italian ancestors, cool, right? :)
But most importantly, I got to see how my grandpa feels about his 'sweetheart.' I've never seen him come close to crying, ever (at least that I can remember). When he started reading a copy of the letter his future in-laws wrote to him about him joining their family, he had to hand over the paper with it and I had to finish reading it because he was so choked up. My grandparents met in Virginia (if I remember correctly). I believe she was on a mission....or he was...I can't remember which one. Their story is really awesome. They had known each other long enough and well enough that he proposed to her after their first date. I always want to laugh at stories like that, but seeing as how it worked for them, I'm starting to think there's really nothing to laugh at. Rather, I'm grateful. I don't know how much longer my Grandma will be alive. We're guessing Christmas may not happen for her. After having gone through Tanner's funeral a couple of years ago, I just can't bare the thought of going through anything like that again. But, I'm grateful that I have time to prepare. Honestly, my Grandma has already been gone for a few years and her body is just barely hanging on.
So, on to the title.
Every morning I would wake up at their house, I would wake up to the sound of the wheat grinder. Grandma made THE BEST bread in the world. She would bake it in cylindrical cans, so the bread came out circle in shape. We would always have granola (although I could never bring myself to eat it) or Cheerios, and toast and honey. I blame my current love of toast and honey on this childhood memory. It's a comfort food really. My grandma sewed and quilted a lot. The quilt on my bead right now was actually my dad's old quilt, which she recovered and tied for me when I was in elementary school. I thought I wanted to replace it...now I'm not so sure...maybe i'll just leave it like that for my own children (if that ever happens). I'm pretty sure she made the dress I wore after my baptism (it was either her or my aunt Janeen...but I'm pretty sure it was her). I loved going in her sewing room and looking at her machines. She always had flowers hanging in the window (Christmas Cactus is one I remember liking a lot). In one of the closets in that room was the box of crayons my brother and I would use to color with.
I loved playing games with Grandpa. Othello and Checkers were fun ones. But, there was one game that I still to this day don't know what happened to it. It was called Situation 4. It was a game that involved racing to put together your side of the board (it was a puzzle) and building an army or something like that. I would play alone against my grandpa and brother as a team. I always won. So, even after some adjustments were made (no-no pieces being the main one), I still won...Grandma didn't like that too much. So, she hid the game.
Lunch involved more of Grandma's wonderful bread. Cottage cheese is also a love of mine because of these lunches. Once the sun room was built, we would eat in there. It was always such a wonderful time. Oh how I miss it. Later on, Grandma decided to learn to play the piano, so they got a piano. They even had an organ. Oh how I loved to play around with the different sounds and accompanying rhythms on that organ.

As you can see, I have a lot of fond memories as a child with my Grandparents. Once I get to high school, the memories don't really exist. What I remember of my Grandma I love. I will miss her immensely once she passes on. She's really the only Grandma I've ever known. (Not to discredit my family in Missouri, but when you see a person a grand total of 4 times (once as a baby, once as a 5-year old, once as a 7-year old for my Grandpa's funeral and then again as a freshman in high school), it really makes a difference.
The best thing I've learned from this situation is that I should never take my family for granted. By the time I realized what I was missing out on, it was too late for her. I will soon only have 2 grandparents alive...my Grandma in Missouri and my Grandpa here in Utah. If you are reading this, please don't make the same mistake I made. Regardless of drama and problems, your family is your family. I'm so grateful for mine and I hope I can get to know mine better (not sure how yet...I hate flying, so the ones that aren't close by are going to pose a problem...but we'll see). :)
Grandma...I love you, I'll miss you, and I will be happy to see you again someday.