3 Mini Blogs in One

It's been awhile since I've written anything and a lot has happened. I don't want to make a bunch of blogs because I could be up all night doing that. So, instead, I will write a short summary of each of the things that are on my mind right now.

1: I'd like to take a moment and reflect on the past year. Today marks the 1 year anniversary of the death of my sweet grandmother. It's hard to believe that it's been a year already. I know my life was impacted greatly by her death. I don't want to nor do I actually blame her for my troubles, but some of my first sincere doubts that I've been struggling with started the day of her funeral. Anyways. I don't want to focus on that right now. I miss her dearly and hope that someday I will get to hug her and hear her voice again.

2: My entire life I've had music in my life. I remember listening to music many times on the radio and on my walkman. I never thought about it much until now, but I know I loved to imagine in my mind dances that I would choreograph to the music I was listening to. When I was still in high school I had the opportunity to do a small dance class. This was miniscule and pathetic (looking back on it). Some girl (about my current age) was transferred to Dugway and thought she would share her talent of dance with the youth on base. We learned a hip-hop style routine that didn't even last an entire song. I enjoyed it, but now looking back, I'm glad it never went any further...it's not the kind of dancing I would've wanted to be a part of. Later in life I was offered the opportunity to accompany a children's creative dance class. After doing this a year I couldn't hold it in anymore. Those children inspired me (still do)...I signed up for a modern dance class at Weber State. It was hard, but I came out of class feeling so amazing every time. I even lost about 30 pounds from it. I signed up for it again the following semester, but dropped shortly after my friend Tanner passed away. Then, when I was able to I took it again my last semester of college. I was hooked. But, a little too late almost. I had no clue where I could go for an adult modern dance class that would take in someone as inexperienced as me (and as big as me). Then, while working at the Bountiful studio, I discovered that there was an adult class held in Salt Lake at the creative dance studio I worked for. This fall I started going. This past weekend was my first ever REAL dance performance with this class. There is a video of it (I wish I could post it on here). I was definitely clumsy (as normal), but I danced. I think I found my new love. Playing clarinet still has no pleasure for me (and I doubt that it ever will be the same for me again). So, my realization is that I've been dancing my entire life, but it took over 20 years for me to discover it. I hope I never stop.

3: This is kind of a 2 in 1 mini-blog. I have contemplated (for over a year, if not 2) going back to school to get a degree in a field I can support myself with. The timing seemed right, so I went to the OWATC and talked to a counselor about the medical assisting program. I did the accuplacer exam (scored very nicely, too) and the physical exam they had there. Then I had to go get signed off by a doctor. I still have to get some immunizations and read a handbook thing, then I will be ready to apply to the program. If I don't get in, it will be for a very good reason. I don't know when I'll be able to afford the immunizations though. It'll probably be January before I can start classes. In the process of seeing a doctor, I discovered that I had gained more weight than I thought. I was at the heaviest I've ever been in my life. From that 30 pounds I lost from that dance class, I had gained over 40. I lift bags of flour at work that weigh 50 pounds. That is a LOT of extra weight to be carrying around. (No wonder I've felt like crap lately) So, I decided to take control and start making some changes. It's been 2 weeks now and I'm still doing a heck of a lot better than I was doing before, but I'm finding I'm slipping back into old habits. But, I did lose at least 5 pounds that first week. I started taking a weight-training class and relearned my love of working out. Hopefully this week I can get back on the path I was on (although my finances right now are non-existent so it'll be interesting).

I know I had more to talk about, but I forgot (typical). All in all, I have enjoyed these changes going on lately. I do love life. It's hard sometimes most definitely. I could really handle not being alone anymore, or at least moving to a better place and finding a better job, but I'm learning to control the parts that I can actually control.