I have heard many times of people finding that they come to a certain point in their lives where they feel for no reason at all that they need to make a change...whether it is in the area of love, family, career or whatever it may be. They come to a crossing point I guess and make the decision to go against everything they know with the small hope that something better is coming.
For me, that has happened tonight. I'm hoping that my story will end as happily as the ones I have heard before. If it doesn't....I don't know what I'm going to do.
I was given the opportunity to work at Bravo Arts Academy this past year as a piano teacher. I have worked with them for the past 3 years, but this past year was the most prominent in my life. I developed a sincere love for the kids I got to teach every week. I loved working as a lab aid, tutoring young music students and so on. I also loved getting to use the part of me that I am actually good at. I am not the best at playing or teaching piano, nor am I good at remembering my theory and so on. But, every time I walked out of that building I felt as if I had done something worthwhile. I had shared the gift that I have been given. It was the most fulfilling thing I've done.
So, it is so very hard for me right now because I have not felt 100% great about returning. I go to work and spend time with my students and want to do it forever. Then, I look at the contract and feel that 'stupor of thought' as it were. I have already been VERY confused about my feelings lately and this choice came at the worst time possible. Just a little while ago (as in less than a half hour ago) I sent an email telling my boss that I won't be returning next year.
It breaks my heart. I LOVE those kids. I LOVE teaching. I LOVE feeling like I'm worth something when I leave my job each night. I hope I made the right choice. I hope something better is around the corner. I hope this isn't the worst mistake I could make.
I need some serious hugs right now.
The End
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Leap of Faith....what the heck did I just do?!?!?!
Posted by Heather~Marie at 11:01 PM
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1 comments:
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG!!!!
I know those feelings and it's always best if you follow them. For example, I had no idea how Chicago was going to work but I took those leaps of faith and it was hard but it turned out great. If you think you're having a stupor of thought, you probably are and so you've done the right thing. Keep using that faith! Love you!
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