Man it's hot in here!

So, I'm sitting in the University Village computer lab right now. They have a severe problem with the heating in this room. It's an oven. Why I still have my hoodie on is beyond me. I'm a cookin'! :) Oh well. The reason I am here though is quite interesting I'm sure. Well, actually, probably not. First of all, my computer has been dead for over a month now. A friend has kindly let me borrow his laptop, but I had to return it to him yesterday, so I'm confined to the lab again. Then there is the aspect that I really hate being around my roommates sometimes. One is engaged. The other has a missionary. This one with the missionary also has a friend that won't leave her alone. He spoils her, which just adds to the problem that she is already a spoiled brat. Anyways. He's a nice guy, but he's almost too nice. It almost freaks me out. Why he wastes his time with here when there are other 'available' people in the same apartment is beyond me. Phew. Glad I got that off my back.
Today was Stake Conference. After the extreme high I felt from General Conference last week, I was hoping to feel even just a small portion of it again. But, alas, the word 'marriage' was used and I got frustrated. I know that we are supposed to not get upset when they talk about it. Those of us (women) who have not had the opportunity will not be held accountable. I know this. But, it still irritates me to my last nerve. I was even censured by that same friend who lent me his laptop. He said that we should not let any hard feelings keep us from feeling the spirit. I understand. But how do we control our feelings when it is something like that? I have been asked out (seriously) once. That occured in December. I never went out with the guy though. I was not interested at all. I can even tell you of my dating life in a rather short time. I think I just might.
I turned 16 and asked my crush of 2 years (named Jon) to the prom. He couldn't go since he had finals that week at BYU.

For my junior year prom, I asked the cashier (named Matt) at the grovery store. He said yes. One of the stupidest things I've ever done!

My freshman year of college, one of my dear roommates set me up on a double date. His name was Jon. It went ok, but it was really awkward for me. We went to that really expensive restaraunt they just tore down next to Temple Square. (the INN??) Anyways. It was super expensive and I barely knew the guy. The following Sunday we said hi and stuff, but I never really ever saw him after that.

Then for my birthday another roommate set me up on a surprise group date (I don't remember his name). That was a lot of fun, but the guy would NOT shut up! He drove me nuts. I did bowl a 122 though. So, there are happy memories from that night.

Later...or maybe before now that I think about it, I was asked to fill in last-minute on a group date. That was nothing super special. The guy I was paired with was named Jon. (see a pattern here??? And no, they are none of them the same person!)

A year or 2 went by. My friend (not a Jon) came home from his mission. I went to go visit him. We went to a wedding reception of a friend of mine. Then we went and walked around Temple Square to see the lights. He tried. But I guess I was wanting more or something. I made sure my hand was available for holding. I tried to talk to him and stand next to him. He kept wandering off. Yeah...we've tried to do the relationship thing more than once...it's NEVER going to happen. He won't ever keep his word to write me. Grr...I fyou see this Danny....that's why!

Then, a year ago, a friend of mine took me to get ice cream once. That was fun. It felt like a date. I thought it was a date, but then the second time (when we went to Carl's Jr.) he told me that I could pay him back. JERK!

Then, in December, another John asked me out. Yes, I was actually asked out. But, eventually he got a text from telling him to leave me alone. I hadn't heard from him since he asked me out and then he started calling me on Valentine's Day. What is up with that?! I was not interested in him. I could've said yes to be nice, but that would be leading him on. Something, which I have learned is not the best thing to do.

So, that, my friends is my dating life in a nutshell. It sucks. I've tried the online dating thing. I have one word for that. Creeps.

So...with that out. How the heck am I supposed to feel when the word marriage is used. Guys usually ignore me whenever I'm around. It's like I have a big sign on my forehead that says 'Stay away!'
Ahh the world of men makes me irritable. Hence, why I have decided to go to grad school, and become a professional musician. If I'm sinlge, I can handle all the gigs that will be offered! Ha!! I will be a crazy cat lady. And I will like it. :)

To be honest though, I really don't like the idea of being married so much anymore. Wow...I really sound bitter right now, don't I? Oi. I don't mean to, but then again, I suppose I am. If it is the right thing for me, it will happen. I'm sure of that. But, right now, it's not what I want. I'm not searching for it. I would rather just learn to be friends with the guys I'm around. I always seem to get along with guys that I don't see as a threat. Is that funny or what?! My guy friends are either guys that are too young for me, already taken, or I'm totally not interested in them. If I have any feeling of interest, I sut down and never have anything to say to them. HA! It's quite perplexing.