Much Ado About Nothing...

So, I've been watching tv a lot lately. I have seen a lot on there, but nothing as cool as what I just saw. It's a show on the DIY network called 'Deconstruction.' It appears to be a little similar to Mythbusters. This guy was heating up pans and putting them on different countertop materials to see what was resistent (or not) to the heat. They finally got to granite, which didn't show any signs of distress even after being blow-torched. So, they made a fondu pot of chemicals that made it burn at 5000(?) degrees. It was sweeeeeet!!!!! The tabletop was engulfed in flames. When it was done, the tabletop had actually cracked and turned to rubble. This is exciting! It's making me want to have my own kitchen so I can get a beautiful granite counter. *sigh*...someday

In other news. I have less than 2 weeks at Subway. I can't believe that the summer is almost over. It will take a miracle for everything to work out so I can go back to school this semester. I am having some serious financial problems and it just keeps getting worse. I don't know how I'm going to pay for everything. I'm thinking about applying for a loan, but I doubt I'll get approved. I need to learn to save money, not spend it. :)

Man, I'm tired. I don't know what it is, but there is either something in the air, or I'm getting sick. (Oooo! Now they're dropping bowling balls on the countertops!!!!! And now they just broke the bowling ball....I like this show! :) ) Ok....ADD moment over.

Last night was very interesting. I had a conversation with the boy that has not given up on me. I sad a little about it in the previous blog and following poem, but I think I want to vent some more about it now. We started talking on the IM on facebook. I thought it would just be a simple conversation about nothing in particular, but somehow it turned into a dtr and a nightmare. I don't know what to do. I've already discussed our 'relationship' in another blog. I will not do that now. Sometimes when I talk to him I feel things, but how do I know that it's not just my body saying 'this is your only hope for any physical contact with a guy'....or something like that. Anyways. My biggest problem is that I'm not attracted to him. Without attraction it's hard to want to look at that person in a romantic light...at least I think it is. There are tons of guys out there that I am way more attracted to (although they don't seem to share the same sentiment). Anyways...So, we talked and he told me that he would be in the area next weekend as he moves up to BYUI. He asked if there was any way he could see me. Now, I have told him many times that I don't like him in that way, but apparently he STILL has not gotten it. I understand that he wants to see a 'friendly face' but I wonder if he doesn't have other motives (in fact, I know he does). But, I couldn't get out of it. Even though I told him I would be moving in the day that we would be able to meet, he wouldn't give up. He even offered to help me move in. I don't want anyone touching my stuff but my mom and I. So, yeah, I gave in, sort of. I guess I kind of have a date of sorts planned. But, I have my doubts as to it actually happening. Everytime he tries to see me, it doesn't happen. So...I suppose that I'm not making as much sense as I would like.
In one respect, he is a good person, he's trying to finish his schooling that will put him in a very respectable career, he works hard, he's honest and he's pretty much everything on the list that we learn to make in young womens, but I just can't do it. I can't let myself like him like that. If I could look past a few certain things, it would probably be a great relationship, but I just don't know if I can or want to look past those things. (not to mention he lives in another state) I keep hoping that I'll meet someone else, get engaged and show him that I am seriously not interested in him. Ah...I'm so stuck in a rut of insanity that I never thought I could experience.

Well...it's almost midnight. My internet connection isn't working and I need sleep. A friend of mine just got her mission call and is trying to read the Book of Mormon all the way through before she leaves in September. We talked about it and I decided to do it with her for support and my own good. I'm not doing so well. I need to get going. I have a lot of catching up to do.
Alrighty, the connection is back. I'm posting this while I have a chance.
Goodnight ya'll!